What is Love and how do we recognise it?
Welcome back to our intimacy series with Michaela Boehm, the founder of Linear Movement and expert in her field as an embodiment and intimacy coach and therapist.
This is a really juicy and enlightening episode where we talk about love. We come into adulthood with various mixed, unhealthy messages and expectations around love that we have to unlearn first that tend to block our ability to really be open to love. Michaela and I look at romantic love and the misconceptions surrounding it; the meaning of love itself and how it differs for everyone; embodiment and how that impacts our ability to be open to allow love in.
In the broad sense of the word, love can be described as the ability to be open, feel your own heart and connect with your heart to another person’s heart. However, the prerequisite of openness that is required to love deeply and allow love in, is not an easy thing to practice, because external and internal experiences happen during the course of our individuation and we decide that openness is too painful. Most of us then live life with our hearts partly or fully closed to avoid pain, hence reducing our ability to welcome love into our lives.
What no one tells us is that when we allow love in, we become automatically vulnerable to pain, loss and grief. If we can fully feel all our feelings, then with the exalted positive feeling of love comes the reciprocal shadow side where the feelings might not be so pleasant to experience. Because of this tendency that many people have to partially or completely close themselves to the possibility of pain and grief, when we actually get the love that we want, we can barely or can’t accept it because we are not a big enough vessel for the abundance of love that we receive.
Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I would love to hear if this episode has resonated with you. I would truly appreciate if you would leave a review on my social media pages, website or iTunes so that we can share these messages of wholeness and healing with the world.
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- Deconstructing the process of falling in love and diving into how this process is a wild cocktail of survival mechanism and a primal need for reproduction.
- We talk about how women unconsciously go through a chemically induced selection process. Due to the limited number of children a woman can have in a lifetime, she will look for someone at the most basic level, who can keep her children alive and safe (supportive, helpful, status, power, health, wealth are all markers for the survival of the off spring).
- We dive deep into the attachment style that have to do with childhood imprints and previous experiences and how for some people love is equal to chaos, abuse, victimhood – a person tends to consciously or unconsciously look for a partner who will provide the same childhood pattern to be played out in an adult love relationship.
- We look at the differentiation between the love feeling where you genuinely like the person that you are with and sexual tension/ attraction – which is not love but chemistry.
- The different level of intimacy that’s possible when the infatuation has worn off and when the chemicals have stabilised – this is where the intimate relationship starts if we are willing to engage in it.
- We talk in detail about the importance of the daily practice of embodiment so that the body and nervous system can integrate to become a bigger vessel for love.