Embracing Our Triggers for Deeper Maturation and Healing
I’d like to invite the possibility for you to shift your entire relationship to your triggers.
Shifting from them being the very reasons why you may be down on yourself or berating yourself or losing faith in yourself – to them being a gift that you can begin to embrace.
What? How? Why?! How is that even possible? you might think.
First things first, if you are a human being (which I assume you are) you are getting triggered. Whether you are aware and conscious of them is a different story, but they are 100% happening. And if you are not aware of them then they are controlling the unfolding of your life and robbing you of your own authentic power, more than you know. If you ARE aware of them, then there are ways in which you can begin working WITH them rather than against them, to empower you and offer you more transformation that you can even imagine.
Every single person gets triggered. And it can be extremely unsettling, destabilising and disempowering. Without real power or consciousness in how to work with them and be in relationship with them, they get in the way of our ability to have intimate fulfilling relationships, they block our ability to fully express ourselves and they keep us stuck in our pasts, causing us to re-create and repeat our pasts , here in our present.
Our triggers are a powerful part of the maturation process and the moment we can start to have MUCH more power over them is the moment we gain enough power to start truly transforming our lives.
Your triggers, although extremely uncomfortable, are SO priceless and necessary to your process of growth and maturation that I would like to dedicate this post to fully seeing and tuning in to your triggers as they are your very gateway for profound healing and key to your maturation process. And I will teach you why.
But first, let’s start with “What is a trigger?”
A trigger is when something in the present (it can be anything from a smell, a look, a word, an experience etc) has any kind of familiarity to an experience from a past unhealed wound or trauma within you.
That past memory is literally re-activated in the body and mind simultaneously and instantly you are re-living that past wound or trauma in an identical fashion right here in the present. The emotions flooding through will be identical, the beliefs flooding the mind, the thoughts, all of it will be a re-living of your past. Except it is happening here in your present. And without any real consciousness or power over what is occurring, you will believe that what is moving through you is from the present which will then lead you to react and behave in certain ways to the present reality. The trigger is literally contaminating you and blinding you from being able to see reality in your present clearly.
We may end up blaming the person in front of us, or the bus driving, or the teacher, or our friend for what is happening inside of us, but what we are not aware of is what is occurring within us was already there, waiting to be reactivated.
You can see how disempowering this is.
Our past, literally floods our present, causing us to see reality through our past-coloured lenses – “Men aren’t safe. Women always leave me. Life is dangerous. I will be humiliated” etc etc. Which then causes us to behave and react in ways aligned with our past, which has a ripple effect, and thus we are literally repeating our past – right here in the present.
And it is disempowering, devastating and most of the time we don’t even know it’s happening.
Until now. It does NOT need to be this way.
Most of the time we are conditioned to ignore, judge and be repulsed by our own triggers when actually the trigger is casting a bright light on every single wound that is unhealed and is a wonderful opportunity for us to face it head on and see what we could not see before. It is an opportunity to dissolve old traumas in a way that will provide permanent healing and growth during our maturation process.
It is essential in our current times, both on a personal and collective level, that we learn how to stay centered and still in the eye of the storm. Because if we practice staying centered and not mechanically reacting to external circumstances, the trigger doesn’t live us and take us over. If there was ever something to master now at this time, this would be it.
I’d like to offer you some guidance to become conscious of your triggers and when they are activated, to deliberately remove yourself from the situation to gift yourself the time and attention that your unhealed wound is needing from you.
The key to embracing you trigger is conscious awareness that you are being triggered. The moment you are aware of the trigger taking you over, remove yourself from the situation,
Find a quiet spot to break down what actually occurs inside of you and ask yourself how you can create spaciousness between the reaction and how you show up.
How do you create space between the mechanical reaction (the trigger) and how you show up?
The first step is to even see that you are triggered. That what is flooding through your body-mind is from the past and not actual reality. You need to gain awareness of yourself. When you are in a reactionary state, the most powerful thing you can do is look at what is occurring inside of you, with real compassionate enquiry, with open eyes and an open heart.
Be fully aware of your body, your beliefs and thoughts right now.
The second step is to write this all down in your journal with radical honesty, from the thoughts in your minds to your feelings in your heart and body. When you get into a practice of journaling regularly and writing this down, you can see the same reaction coming up again and again although the details out here are different. The moment you can see that, I invite you to see it and distinguish it as a mechanical cycle.
- can you track what is the memory that is being re-lived
- what is the original experience that turned into a concept that is now living you?
This is the first shift in your perception. To clearly see that it is happening inside of you and not TO you.
If it’s happening inside of you, that gives you a whole other sense of power. You realise that it’s not separate and it’s a body-mind system all happening simultaneously within you.
When it’s happening, how much can you be courageous enough to see it as a vicious circle happening inside of you. That’s when a tiny little bit of space starts to become available between you and it. That tiny space is the beginning of you being able to get your power back.
Every single time that you can witness and distinguish that it is happening inside of you as the vicious circle, that space gets a little bit bigger every time. And in that space, is where all new possibilities can happen. That space is where you get to act, respond rather than react – this space is where you get to make different choices. That space is where you breathe deeper and something shifts.
I’d like to share with you a 5 question process to give you an opportunity to break out of the grip of the past and start coming home to who you truly are:
- What am I actually seeing right now
- Where am I seeing from right now. How old am I?
- Is what I am seeing true or is my sight contaminated right now?
- What do I truly want and need in this wound?
- Can I be with what is moving through me right now?
If you really want to heal (not to win, or be right, or fight – but to heal) and you are willing to be 100% responsible and acknowledge that your trigger is yours and what is coming up was already there, then you will experience profound growth and healing. This conscious exercise offers you the chance to sit with your triggers, heal them and allows you to come back to the present to see clearly without the veil of the unhealed wound.
For those of you who feel ready to reclaim your true power and come home to who you were Born to be, come and join me in my Maturation Mentors Community – The Awakening Collective. You will be guided by me all year round and experience powerful holistic shifts across mind, body, heart and soul. In The Awakening Collective you will learn how to break free of the patterns that are keeping you stuck in the same patterns. Under my guidance and nurturing eye, you will be safely held in ceremony and sisterhood so that you can Re-Align with the powerful, authentic, and limitless woman that is Already Within you.