RAGE: How to feel it, own it and release it to heal deeply
Rage seems to be coming up a lot lately for people and to be honest it is completely understandable why.
Instead of pretending it’s not there I’d like to dive in really deeply and talk about it with you.
“Your posts on social media are bringing up so much rage in me I feel like I hate you”
“I don’t want to come to sessions on time and I’m so angry at you”
“I just want to say fuck all the time lately”
These are some of the comments and messages I’ve received lately. And I can hide myself and my life away in fear of triggering others or I can be myself and help you process this so you can actually feel it fully, release it and then of course let it offer you some deep deep healing. I’m going to choose the later.
So let’s start with getting one thing really really clear here. Rage is a completely healthy and natural human emotion to feel. In fact it is absolutely fully acceptable and should be welcomed a whole lot more in this modern life we’re living in. This full wild animalistic expression of human emotion has been suppressed and shamed and judged for generations before us. And most people have not been taught how to feel it or even recognise it is there at all.
What is rage?
1. It is a completely natural human response to when your freedom, authenticity and autonomy has been robbed or violated. In simple terms, you have been told or you feel like you are not allowed to be and feel and voice and live as who you truly are. The deep core roots of this way of being we often learn from early childhood, both from parents who have been suppressed themselves and grow up in a society that has been created to suppress and shame freedom, wildness and autonomy.
2. When I have led clients through rage releasing processes almost ALL of them end up shouting the same things. They shout, scream and often ROAR big ‘NO’s’. Why? Rage is the emotional expression of all the boundaries you never set, all the no’s you never allowed yourself to say and weren’t allowed to say. And that you aren’t saying now. Rage is the expression of all your power that you either gave away to someone else or it was robbed from you. So allowing yourself to express it now is part of your deepest healing.
3. Beneath rage, beneath all of this fire is a deeply hurting often broken heart. And every person I’ve ever held space for in rage release, including myself, always, ALWAYS ends up in grief once the anger has been expressed. Which is an essential important sacred part of healing deeply and of our transformation.
4. Rage is a powerful force of energy, of YOUR life force and so is the grief beneath it. Keeping it hidden, suppressed, unexpressed is like sitting on top of a whirlwind trying to keep it tame and controlled. This seeps deeply into the pores of your boy, creating tension in your muscles, bones, spine, liver, hips, genitals. This energy keeps your jaw rigid, your lips pursed tightly. It keeps your fire, your passion, your wild creative sexual life force and self-expression imprisoned and plugged in. And so you become like a caged tiger without even knowing it. This can affect your LIVER health, HEART health, SEXUAL health, it can form into much more serious illnesses like cancer and pancreatitis. Issues with the voice and throat. It often also leads to strong cravings for alcohol, drugs, sugar, porn, meaningless sexual encounters. As the only way to create a release. But none of these ways will give you your power back.
5. Lastly, if you allow yourself to feel and express your rage and get to the grief beneath here’s the gift – you are not only releasing an enormous storm of powerful stuck energy that has been keeping you in a deep deep form of suppression in your body, but you are literally reclaiming your power back. Your energy will become more grounded, you will become more integrated and embodied in your truth and you will have discovered more of your true self and your voice.
PLUS it is such a powerful pathway back home to your heart. The heart that was hurt, broken and had been hiding behind walls.
How to Release Rage:
First things first, some clear boundaries and ground rules. IF you are going to engage in these practices you must make the following commitments to YOURSELF.
– This work is ONLY for you. You do not direct it at another. You do not attack, blame, judge or hurt another. This rage is yours. And this healing work is yours to own and be responsible for. If you make this commitment all the way through, the healing will be yours too.
– Set a clear intention to use these practices to give yourself freedom, liberation, healing and release. DO NOT use these practices as a form of self-harm or turning it on yourself. LOVE MUST be at the heart of this work always. LOVE and POWER.
– You MUST ensure you are safe, your surroundings are safe always ALWAYS. This SHOULD be an act of love not hate.
Self-Practices for Releasing Rage:
There is a reason why children stamp their feet when they have a tantrum. Because stamping brings the stuck strong energy down to the earth and moves alot of the stagnation in the body causing a grounding and integration in the body.
*Take yourself out to a field or part and literally stamp your feet down on the ground as you walk, like a child does in tantrums. Stamp, stamp, stamp as much as you need. After a while and maybe quickly it will move stuck stagnant energy in your LIVER and the emotion will begin to move. Then move on to step 2:
Allow your body to completely and with full freedom to somatically shake like a vibrational field. Shaking arms wildly, body, bum, hips, legs, cheeks, head. Keep shaking as long as you need keeping your neck lose and not pushing hard. This is about letting go. Any tension let go more and shake it out freely. You can do this to music or drumming or silence whatever works for you.
Take yourself out to a field or if you have privacy at home do it at home or if you have no privacy you can do this directly into a pillow so it doesn’t frightened anyone around you. But literally let out great big roars like a lion. Imagine yourself to be a lion or wild animal and roar, roar, roar. As much as you need and DO NOT HOLD BACK.
4. Full Release:
Lastly and most powerfully – pile up some pillows high on your bed or on the floor and stand or kneel next to them as you bring your arms high above your head and start slamming them down onto the pillows with your hands in gentle fists. As your fists hit the pillows let out sound, big uncontrolled, unsuppressed sound, Keep going so you are releasing with more force and energy each time. You may feel the need to hit very hard and even to scream, shout, roar. You may feel the need to say certain things or visualise someone you are raging at or who has hurt you. Allow yourself to say what you REALLY need and feel without any holding back. If you really really let it come you may eventually find big tears coming. When this happens, as long as you are finished with the anger, let yourself cry as long and big as you need.
Afterwards, use your journals to process anything you saw, felt and learnt from this process. And repeat them daily if you need.
So my loves rage is important. And it makes sense it is coming up now.
But if you are directing it through blame, attacking and judging another, it will not move. It will stay stuck. It will keep you in suppression. And none of your true power will be reclaimed. So next time it comes up and you want to bitch about someone, judge someone, blame or attack someone else (even inn the hidden realms of your mind) then I’d love to invite you to check in with the points above. And make a commitment to honour it, own it and let yourself feel it to claim your own power.
I hope you have found this useful during these extraordinarily challenging times.