Sep 23, 2020
Self-Reflection | Uncategorized

I want to go beyond the ways we are taught about bodies in school and by society. 

I want to deeply focus on undoing the conditioning you have been given that has sculpted and formed your relationships and perceptions and identifications that you have with your body. 

What identification do you have from the stories you have been told and how much has that impacted how you show up in the world? 

How has this conditioning affected your relationship with life?

It takes the peeling back of many layers of conditioning to see where this disconnect is coming from so you can begin to disrupt and rewrite those stories and dissolve the roots from which they came.  

When you start to break free from the story you have been living in that is when you can begin to break down the attachments that have been keeping you fixed in that kind of unhealthy relationship. 

I want to teach you how you can heal those stories and conditioning and rewrite a new story, creating a new way that you look at your body.

When you can break free of these past stories and develop a new relationship with your body, that is when you can develop a new relationship with your life. 

This is about more than just self-love, this is the essence of maturation.

Rewriting this story you have about your body and your relationship to your body deep re-rooted maturation and transformation from the inside out. 

What Causes Somebody To Develop A Negative Relationship With Their Body?

Wounds and trauma and emotions store themselves in your body. The emotions that you refuse to engage with and heal remain stuck in your body, so you are not living from flow, you are living in resistance.

When you are disconnected from your body, you are disconnected from the present moment.

When you are disconnected from yourself you are in turn disconnecting from your life! 

True Embodiment Happens When You Disconnect From The Mind 

When you are disconnected from your body you are identified with your mind and therefore stuck in the past. You are stuck in this story and memory with no possibility to create a new life. 

Transformation happens in the body. Why? Because when you are integrated and present in the body you are being. 

You are being with yourself, being in the present moment and being in life. You are being life!. 

When you are embodied in the body you are being whole. 

Every single moment you resist and reject and escape and disconnect from the body, you are creating and participating and feeding the separation. 

You are feeding the story and the conditioning of separation and moving further and further away from wholeness. 

Transformation takes place when you journey from the mind into embodiment. It is only when you are fully embodied that you have the opportunity to be with your wholeness in life and as life. 

It might take your whole lifetime to make this journey, but it is a worthwhile journey to take. 

When you disconnect from your body and resist what is there, when you go into the mind, you are escaping into survival mode. So many people live their whole life in survival and can’t break free. 

When you live stuck in this hamster wheel of your story, there is no space for you to evolve beyond this story. 

The only way to create the possibility for maturation is when you make a body-mind connection and move as one working team. 

Nothing whole comes from your mind unless you have that integration with the body, mind body, or body mind. 

Everything whole comes from embodiment. 

The first layer of conditioning is the physical body. 

The surface layer is usually as far as most people go when trying to heal a relationship to the body. You see it a lot being talked about these days on social media, body love, body positivity, but that’s only dealing with one layer. 

Our arms, our breasts, our bellies, our bums, our cheekbones, our skin, our weight, our size, our ears, our nose – it’s all the physical body. 

You have been conditioned from day one with images and pictures of what it means to be beautiful and therefore worthwhile as a woman. 

Over time those pictures and beauty standards have evolved over time, what was understood to be beautiful is very different to what you’ve been conditioned to see as beautiful now. 

Women went from being celebrated for being voluptuous and round, for giving birth to as many babies as possible, to now living in a world where flat tummies and thin arms are the gold standards of beauty.

Regardless of what ideal is presented at the time, it’s all conditioning. It was all decided by someone, somewhere that this is the story of what’s beautiful and you have believed it. 

Take Out Your Journal and Ask Yourself These Questions…..

What pictures do you have in your mind as being beautiful?

What images in your mind are you measuring your body up against?

What if I were to tell you it was all a story told you by somebody who decided that’s what beautiful is?

What if I told you there is no measure of beauty in a picture of how your body should be?

We have been living in a society that has been rigged to make us feel like we are not enough and every single time you participate in that rhetoric you are separating yourself further from your power. 

You are actively participating in disempowering your true self! 

Your body is already worthwhile. The magnificence of your body right now is already enough! 

Let’s get deeper though when you have that picture of what is beautiful you’re measuring yourself up against what do you see? 

Write it down in your journal.

Write it down really clearly and then ask yourself where did that picture come from? Take your time, write your whole story around it. 

Now I want you to inquire and get curious as long as you have that picture in your mind you are identifying with as truth, you have seen it as a story you’ve seen it as reality. 

As long as you’re identifying with that picture as reality, what does that then set up in your relationship to your own body? 

Are you ever going to be able to match up? Or are you in a constant state of failure, therefore rejection?

That’s the first part. Your mind then starts to unravel of judgment and berating self-talk. 

“I’m so fat”, “I’m not good enough”.

You feel this constant urge to change and the message is “you are not enough” and you are living in a constant internal battle keeping you in disconnection from your own being. 

Then you wonder why you feel suffering and low self-worth! 

You wonder why you feel like you can’t trust yourself. It’s because of this constant state of internal battle. 

Personal storytime! 

When I was in Peru, I was participating in an ayahuasca ceremony that showed me the impact of every single self-berating thought I had on my body. 

Every thought was like a black arrow shooting myself into my body.

To see how many years I had been sending myself black arrows, all the time 

Why did I do that? Because my body didn’t match up to what I was told was beautiful. 

I then spent hours sending only loving thoughts to my body, I sent golden arrows to my body, and created a more energetic wholeness with myself. 

When you’re living in a state of internal battle you are living in a constant state of self rejection and you cannot come home if you are rejecting home. 

What Can You Do To Change This Story?

  1. See the story you’ve been relating to in your physical body and then see the internal battle that has been taking place as a reaction to this conditioning. 
  2. Then start being responsible for the arrows that you have been sending yourself, and start consciously choosing golden arrows.

There is no measure of beauty. You are beauty. There is no measure of worth, you are worth. 

Who you already are is enough. Stop being a willing participant in separation and disconnect. 

The second layer you must work through is the trauma and emotional wounds that lie in the body. 

A way in which you try to survive that trauma is to dissociate and start to identify solely with the story in your mind. 

You jump into the mind and dissociate from the body as a way of survival. 

If you want to grow out of this child-like ego story and go on this journey of maturation you need to go back to these old wounds and address them, feel them and heal them. 

You need to be with what you have been escaping and resisting for so long, It’s imperative and essential to your healing. 

Emotions are just energy. Every single emotion is an energetic flow. 

It’s a cycle of letting go, every emotion serves a purpose. 

Like anger for example is the energetic power of action of creating change, there is fire in it!

When using anger consciously it can be a powerful tool for transformation and action. 

Fear shows us for example what is or isn’t right for us, our job is to be with it and also listen to it to choose how we want to react, it shows us how to slow down and be more conscious. 

Joy has an energetic flow that opens the heart and shows us how to live with more authenticity. 

Every single time you block an emotion and don’t allow it to be, it gets stuck in our body.

That energy gets stagnant and stuck and it builds up and builds up, and what we resist persists. 

Whatever you don’t feel or won’t be with gets stored in the body and it prevents you from having access to your energy and power. 

If you really want access to the joy and pleasure and intimacy of being present in life you also have to be willing to be with all of the uncomfortable parts of life. 

The second part of the conditioning we receive growing up is…..

+ Don’t Feel

+ Being uncomfortable is bad

+ Do whatever you can to feel better and avoid feeling uncomfortable 

These forms of conditioning keep you stuck in a cycle of resistance and escaping from being with the human experience. 

What lengths will you go to and have you been going to in order to avoid being with what is in your body? 

Maybe you create drama to distract yourself. 

Maybe you overeat, drink too much alcohol, maybe you never move your body, whatever it is, get honest with yourself. 

Take your journals out and write it down. Answer these questions truthfully. 

At what lengths have you been willing to go to avoid being with your feelings? 

What story have you got in your mind about being uncomfortable? If it starts getting uncomfortable and you have to feel it, what is going to happen? 

I want you to see the story you have been identifying with. 

It’s participating in your separation from your wholeness. 

It’s participating with you being in disconnect from your true self and embodiment.

What relationship do you have with your feelings? 

Emotions are energy inside of us, they are not us. The storm is inside of you, you are not the storm. 

Healing dissociation is beginning to associate and coming back into the body. 

Transformation can only happen in the body. 

When you start the journey to coming back to the places you escaped from, you start being with the very life experiences you tried to run from and those stagnant points inside of you start to flow again. 

When you start to disrupt the story a new one is being written and when energy can start to flow again new possibilities in your life grow.  

It is only when you allow yourself to be the things you have been escaping, that transformation and maturation can occur. 

By going deep and allowing yourself to fully feel what you have been resisting for so long you grow out of being a little girl and into the powerful forces of an adult woman.

When you tune back in and start to get intimate with yourself and know what you need and feel, the more access you will have to your own pleasure. 

The Third layer of conditioning is that you are a solid fixed object when in reality you are abundant flows of life force. 

You are not in life, you are life and you flow with life and co-create your reality. 

You have meridian energy channels through your entire body like branches in a tree, you have a central channel of energy from the heavens to the earth and you are the gate away. You are a continuous flow of life force. 

When you disassociate and jump into your mind and resist and reject this life force you are resisting the flow. 

By coming back to your life force you are opening the gateways to the flow of life that you are. 

Life is not happening to you, you don’t have to do life, it is happening from you and through you. You are life! 

You don’t have to manifest anything, you are the creator of everything including your stories. 

When you become embodied it’s like lifting the dam and witnessing a rush of power. That is why miracles start to begin when you do this work. 

You didn’t suddenly become this manifesting magnet, you just got out of your own way and allowed life to flow through you!

Final questions to ask yourself in your journal……

When I tell you that you are not a fixed solid object and tell you that you are an abundant flow of energy, what comes up for you?

When I invite you to participate being the one who is responsible for helping your energy flow, what comes up for you?

Every single moment you are with what’s there, every single moment you come more into being with your body with love and consciousness and presence, you open up that gate away a little bit more to the flow of abundant life that you are.

Welcome to the sacred body, this is an invitation to shift the relationship you have with your own body and with yourself. 

I love you all

Nicky x

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