May 6, 2025
The fear of judgement can unconsciously dictate how we express ourselves, hold back from being seen, and disconnect from our authenticity. In this article, we’ll explore where this fear truly comes from, why common self-help tools often fall short, and how to go deeper, to the root of the mechanism, so you can experience true freedom and aliveness.
We live in an increasingly global, connected world. And while this has opened us up to reach more people than ever before, we are also exposed to more judgement.
This fear of judgement is linked to social anxiety, is a common block to self-expression [NIMH, BetterHelp], and at a deep root level is running our choices, our behaviour, and getting in the way of our most alive, authentic expression.
And no matter what we do – the affirmations we use, the practices or self-help tools we try – the experience of being judged keeps returning, stronger than before.
To truly become free of the fear of judgement, we must go much, much deeper.
In this article, I’m not going to give you another tool or strategy to ‘fix’ the fear of judgement; I am going to take you right to the root of the entire mechanism so that you can truly be free and live beyond it.
What Is the Fear of Judgement and Where Does It Come From?
As human beings, we have core needs that connect us all. One of the most deeply rooted of these is a need to belong and be accepted, which is where the fear of judgement arises.
A deep, deep fear that who we are, what we say, what we think, and what we feel – just being ourselves – will be judged as not welcome or wanted.
Evolutionarily, being judged could mean exclusion from the tribe, aka death [Ness Labs].
Fear of being judged is insidious.
It sits in our heart (our authentic truth), our throat (our voice and authentic expression), and our solar plexus (our power and sense of true self), driving our behaviour in unconscious and mechanical ways. Leading us to hold back what we truly want to say and create, limit our desires, and keep us small.
The fear is so great that we will even go to great lengths to pretend to ourselves that we don’t want what we want, don’t feel what we feel, don’t think what we think. ‘You shape-shift, perform, or silence yourself [Jenna Rainey].’ We will completely deny our authentic selves and aliveness.
How the Fear of Judgement Holds You Back From Truly Living
The fear of judgement eats away at us and we don’t even realise we are being run by it. This way of being just starts to feel normal – ‘the way it is.’ The real you is hidden [LinkedIn/Maria Stephenson].
And this pattern keeps repeating.
Do you notice that you always seem to experience people judging you?
Or you judge yourself so much it just feels normal?
Or the moment you try really hard to be confident and bold, you find yourself being overcome with fear, shame, or you freeze as if the judgement is already coming no matter what?
So much of your energy, your life force, goes into ‘doing everything you can’ to ‘fix this problem.’
Saying your daily affirmations, pushing yourself to be confident and positive, convincing yourself that it’s not a problem anymore, pretending it’s gone. When really all you are doing is using so much of your energy to manage and control yourself, your feelings, and your mind.
Can you hear how exhausting this is? How much energy takes from you? Energy you could be using to be your whole, fully expressed, liberated self.
If this is ringing bells for you, I’m so grateful you are here because it doesn’t have to be this way. There is another whole world of possibility that lies within you, longing to be free. One where you get to speak your truth, freely express your authenticity, and love with your whole heart.
Steps to Outgrow the Fear of Judgement From The Root
The key to deep, lasting transformation is to stop trying to ‘fix’ the fear of judgement, and instead see it for what it truly is: a frozen survival mechanism from your past that is not who you truly are.
1. Bring Consciousness to What is Unconscious
Much of our suffering is generated by the confusion that our patterns and problems are being created by what we or others are doing or not doing. What is happening or not happening. This is a blindspot. We think our problems are being created by what’s happening externally outside of ourselves, so we try to solve them externally, finding ourselves in repeating pain, problems, and situations. Why does it keep repeating? What is actually repeating? The first step to living beyond this survival mechanism is to bring consciousness to it.
2. Bring Awareness to the Repetition
Once you have awareness of your particular story around judgement, how often do you experience this in your life? Taking away the external details, does this experience repeat often across all areas of your life? Now go back as far as you can – how young were you when you first remember feeling this way? Can you see how this experience is frozen from the past and repeating throughout every area of your life?
3. Embody the Truth of Who You Are
Reconnect with who you are beyond this survival mechanism with the powerful release activation I have shared below. This will allow you to come home to a space of authenticity and experience true freedom, aligned purpose, and full aliveness. From this space, an entirely new set of choices and experiences open up for you – an entirely new possibility of experiencing life.
4. Courageously Commit to a New Way of Being
From this space beyond your story, make a commitment to co-create the life you say you want. Then wake up every day and take small actions aligned with this authentic vision. Even when your story arises, even if you need to repeat this practice daily. Let action reinforce your new way of being.
Guided Process for Releasing the Fear of Judgement
After this activation sit in stillness for as long as you are able to, allowing life to flow through you. Use your journal to process anything you saw, felt, and learned from this process, repeating daily if you need.
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