I believe there is great power in the journey we have travelled. This has very much been the case for me and I share my story here to honour the warrior path and be a stand for truth and self-empowerment.
I was born and raised in Hong Kong, surrounded by intense sensory experiences in a city that never slept. Amazing colours, aromas, exotic tastes, and Ancient Chinese wisdom at every turn. I heard words like Feng Shui, Energy and Chi in everyday conversation, and especially from my mamma who is Malaysian Chinese.
My grandparents were Buddhists. Even as a little girl I felt a deep sense of peace and love when they were close. I remember sitting with my grandfather as he told me stories of the magical witch doctors he had known, and showed me his collection of samurai swords. He taught me the ancient truth that each sword is inhabited by its own unique spirit. These memories have had a huge impact on my life.
FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT
I was a very sensitive little girl, full of love and joy. My mother tells me I would walk up to strangers in the street and say hello with a big smile or hold their hands and hug them. I remember being able to sense what other people were feeling, seeing straight to the truth, and when adults were behaving badly, I would tell them what I saw.
As the years went by I couldn’t handle feeling so much and tried to get rid of my pain. At 11 years old I started smoking and drinking, by 13 I had moved on to hard drugs and quickly became lost in a downward spiral of addiction and eating disorders. This was an extremely difficult time where I was crippled with low self-worth and the compulsion to escape.
By the time I was 20 I hit rock bottom. Severely underweight, malnourished, addicted to everything and riddled with shame and self-hate, I was told if I didn’t change my ways I wouldn’t make it to 30. Within days I found myself in a doctor’s office, a therapist’s room and multiple 12 Step programs, and I surrendered to a new path. This was my first moment of transformation and I threw myself into my own self-development. Getting clean from addiction, working the spiritual program of the 12 Steps, Therapy, Psychodrama, Trauma Recovery, Yoga, Meditation, Chanting, Intuitive Eating, Anger Workshops, the list goes on. I was willing to do whatever it took to become free from the old stories, emotional wounds, behavioural patterns and belief systems that had almost destroyed me.
Ten years went by, I had become a very different version of myself and felt grateful to be alive. Then my stepfather died. He just didn’t wake up one morning, and it crushed my heart. When I returned home from his funeral I realised how sacred and precious our existence is. I decided then and there that I would never waste another moment of the life I had been given.
I enrolled in my four year training program to become a Certified Macrobiotic Counsellor, Chef and Energy Healer at the International School of Macrobiotics and committed to Transformational Training at The Concord Institute. A year later I spent my summer apprenticed to a Shaman of Plant Medicine in the Peruvian Rainforest. Each of these deeper journeys have had a central and lasting impact on how I work today.
On my first day in the jungle the Shaman came to speak with me. He wanted me to do seven days of Silence Practice, to which my immediate response was total fear. I had to sit on my bed, alone in my hut in the middle of the Amazon, and be in complete silence for an entire week. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done and by day three I thought I was about to go mad. I wrote the Shaman a note begging him to let me quit. He came to my hut, looked me straight in the eye and said “Nicky, this is about gaining inner strength. I want you to grow deep and strong roots so that you do not get thrown around so heavily in the wind. This task is hard but you are stronger and more capable than you know. Trust. Stay in the moment. Keep moving forwards.”
I did complete my seven days. And the Shaman was right, I was stronger than I knew at the time. Anyone who has heard me teach, or speak will know that the guidance he gave me then, is guidance I gift to others, time and time again.
I went on to spend the next decade developing my practice in London. From Macrobiotic cooking classes and nutritional counselling, to powerful transformational retreats, deeper emotional work with my clients, intensive leadership coaching and launching my Warrior Woman Community and Curriculum.
Today I am a spiritual mentor, and my calling is Transformation. I know what it feels like to give your power away and not know where you fit in this world. True healing requires feeling, and a willingness to take responsibility for ourselves and our story. The really great teachers show you the power you already have within yourself. This is, and will always be, my intention.
It is now my life’s purpose to help as many women as I can reclaim their power, heal their self-worth, gain inner strength and trust. To become their most empowered, aligned and authentic selves. I am a stand for freedom and I invite you to join me.